The phrase “know your worth” has been used so much that it has become a cliché. We usually use the term to imply that someone stooped so low, so we try to remind them that they deserve better. While this could still hold water, knowing your worth goes beyond this premise.
Your worth as a person is not determined by your accomplishments or the things you’ve been conditioned to believe define you. Your self-worth doesn’t fluctuate depending on your achievements or failures. And so, to better understand what knowing your worth really means, let’s dig deeper.
What does it mean to know your worth?
To know your worth is to know who you truly are beyond your conditioned mind.
From the very beginning the society conditions you to attach your worth, to the things you own- education, marriage, business, net worth, appearance, social circle and achievements. It’s no wonder that without these things, we would be completely lost in a fog of self-pity and hopelessness.
But are these things what determine your worth? Do they define who you are as a human being?
Your worth goes beyond material possessions. It’s tied to the fact that with or without the achievements, you are still valuable. You might be slow to learn, poor at socialization and an average performer at work, but these things don’t reduce your worth one bit.
On the flip side, best performance at work or excellent academic achievements might alleviate your confidence and earn you respect, but it doesn’t make you more worthy than others.
Knowing your self-worth allows you to disassociate the outcome of what you do with who you are. It implies you are in touch with your inner soul, and more than going through life, you are intentional, doing only the things that serve your purpose.
So basically, knowing your worth enables you to be true to who you are, and live an authentic life.
Why is it important to realize your worth?
The society measures your worth by your possessions, network, occupation and physical appearance. You are treated by others, depending on how they see you in light of these four factors.
When you’ve been judged over and over again on these scales, the judgment gets into your mind and shapes what you feel about yourself. In no time, you start seeing yourself through these very lenses – you are not good enough, low achievers, less deserving, not qualified and so on.
While it’s important to be realistic about your abilities, it’s also equally important to acknowledge that despite the fact you might not live up to these so called standards, you are still worthy, talented, intelligent and deserving of happiness, love and fulfillment. That’s why it is important to realize your worth before others reinforce a false belief of who you are, how much you are worth and what you deserve.
When you know your self-worth, you only focus on things that add value to your life. You cut off people and things that weigh you down. It helps you become a better person because you are only open to positive energy and self-growth.
You’ll find more meaning in life because your joy and satisfaction comes from within. Self-worth makes you content with what you have, whether small or big. And even when these things are taken from you, you still live satisfied.
People who know who they are tend to build fulfilling relationships because they’ve leant to love themselves despite their shortcomings. So, instead of depending on the other person’s light, people with self-worth radiate their own light, and when two such people come together, it’s a happy and fulfilling union.
7 step-process to help you realize your worth
The journey to knowing your self-worth is long and tedious. It exposes your vulnerability and teaches you to love yourself with your flaws and strengths.
Realizing your self-worth shifts your focus from what others think and say about you to what you think and say about yourself.
So, how do you reach within and learn that just your existence alone is enough?
Here is a seven-step process to help you establish, build and sustain your self-worth.
1. Become self-aware
Spending time in self reflection is the first and most important step in your journey toward realizing your worth.
One of the best ways to self reflect is to ask yourself open ended questions. The following are examples of some self reflection questions. You can either ponder upon these questions or even journal about them to put things into perspective.
- What are the things that bring you joy?
- What are the areas you struggle in?
- What are your greatest fears?
- What would you say are your strengths?
- What are your areas of weakness?
- How can you improve?
- When am I at my best?
- What kind of people and situations drain me?
- Who are the people in my life around whom I feel myself?
- Am I living an authentic life or am I living a life of pretense?
- Do I look for validation from others?
Answering these questions will give you clarity on who you are. It will help you understand your flaws and work on improving them. You’ll also better understand your strengths. This is the first step to knowing your value.
You also have the option of using a self reflection journal. These journals have prompts and exercises designed to help you reflect and know yourself better. Here’s our list of 20 best self reflection journals.
2. Learn to forgive yourself
There are situations in life that cause you to question your existence; embarrassing situations that made you want to disappear from the surface of the earth, mistakes that cost you a lot and people that made you question your abilities.
All these circumstances, in one way or another, made you question your worthiness as a person. And so, as you work towards self-worth, you must acknowledge your pain, mistakes and failures and forgive yourself and others.
Forgiveness helps you reconcile with yourself and let go of those who mistreated you.
3. Have personal time
As much as there are only 24 hours in a day, it’s important to create time for yourself. Personal time helps you unwind and reflect. It helps clear your mind and focus on things that really matter.
4. Enhance your self-love
Nurture your self-love by creating a conducive environment for it to take root. This calls for you to stop criticizing yourself and instead adopt a positive attitude amidst fear, uncertainty or failure. Learn to speak to yourself in the right tone and voice. Make it your responsibility to be your number one cheerleader.
5. Learn to say no
Saying no looks simple on the surface, but it is the hardest thing to do, especially when dealing with friends and family. Therefore, it will take courage to speak your mind and take a firm stand when dragged to things you care least about.
6. Surround yourself with like-minded people
As you make the conscious decision to deal with self-doubt, ensure you have the right circle around you. People who are also on the journey to self-love will help you grow.
Attract what you want to become. Let the self-love within your circle rub off you as you build each other in this life long journey.
7. Recognize your self-worth
When you finally reach a point where you don’t need people’s approval, the external circumstances don’t affect your inner feelings, and you no longer strive to please others, you are well on your way to achieving a healthy level of self-worth.
So, embrace this new change and acknowledge the far you’ve come. In addition, continue with the journey of self-love, self-acceptance, self-worth and self-understanding.
8 things that happen when you realize your worth
When you realize your self worth, your life will literally start to transform. These things will start changing for the better. Here are just some of things that will happen.
1. You stop feeling the need to impress others
The first thing that will strike you in your journey to knowing your worth is that the more you become in touch with who you are, the less you are concerned about impressing others. You’ll be comfortable in your own skin and not try to justify anything to anyone. Now, that’s freedom.
You’ll finally say goodbye to the struggle on social media where many people try to impress the world by making their life seem better than it is.
2. You prioritize your goals
Where previously your goals were blurred by societal expectations, now you pursue things that truly matter to you. You rediscover your passion and do the things that only add value to the person you are becoming.
3. You speak for yourself
Unlike when you are in a mist of self-doubt and second-guessing yourself, knowing your self-worth comes with a surety, rare confidence in the things you believe in. Your dreams become a priority, and you articulate them to others and defend your ideas without the fear of being intimidated or wrongly judged.
4. Improved self-care
When you know what you are worth, your health becomes a priority. You know that when you feel good on the inside, it radiates on the outside.
Therefore, eliminating poor habits that negatively affect your health, like excessive alcohol or junk food, becomes a natural part of becoming a better person. You’ll notice that when you feel great, then looking great becomes the automatic second step.
5. You begin to create healthy relationships
When you know better, you choose better. While previously, you might have a history of tolerating relationships that were draining and unhealthy. When you understand yourself better, you’ll better articulate what you want in a partner, know when you are getting a raw deal and move on before it’s too late.
You’ll see people for who they are, not what you want them to be. This is the long run, helps you save lots of time and energy.
6. You start to enjoy being alone
Knowing your worth helps you become comfortable with yourself. Sounds funny, but it’s true. If you want to confirm this, answer this simple question. When was the last time you sat down without your phone, TV or any other distraction, just with yourself? I guess you can’t even remember.
It takes knowing your self-worth to enjoy your own company and just soak in the peace and contentment of self-love. The joy that others bring to your life becomes a bonus.
7. You surround yourself with positive people
The law of attraction says like attracts like. When you realize your self-worth, you only want to interact with people who are secured in their identity. You’ll find that you are more conscious about the people you surround yourself with. Naturally, you’ll pull away from negative people who pull you down.
8. You regain your confidence
When you realize your exceptional qualities and the potential you have within, you start making changes to become a better version of yourself. The more you get better, the more you believe in yourself, and before you know it, you are so sure of who you are, and nothing can stop you.
In conclusion
Knowing your self-worth is an important step. It’s a lifelong journey that keeps getting better with time. When you’ve ultimately reached healthy levels of self-awareness, you treat yourself better. In return, those around you fall in line, reciprocating the same love, respect and attention you give yourself.
Self-worth will help you live a better, fulfilled life and connect you to the right people who radiate the same energy as you.
